As A Mom...

Sometimes I wonder what my children are internalizing about me.

Jack came home from school and was chatting away about his day. He told me that they discussed things that their moms always say. I asked what his response was.......
"Do your homework."
I was hoping for "I'm proud of you." "I love you"....a Bible verse?
Luckily, I was informed that Robert's mom ALWAYS says that too....
Thanks, Robert's mom. You just made me feel better.

Thatcher came home from school and was chatting (with probing) about his day. He told me that his teacher asked for one place your Mom always takes you. Thatcher's response?
"Dumb places like the grocery store."
I'm sure his little outspoken buddy had just announced the word "dumb" in his statement and Thatcher repeated it for a laugh??
He had to sound so harsh? He couldn't say church? or even through the drive-thru for an icee? Karate?

So, I felt frustrated that day. I'm a FULL TIME MOM. I should have no excuses. I was not feeling affirmed.

The other day the boys had Karate. (I sit in the hall as a spectator and hold on to the baby for an hour twice a week!! No one mentioned that to their teachers!!!) I was looking in and saw the Karate Master attatching their first stripes on their belts. I "learned" by way of one of the dads that they have to get 4 of these before they advance to the next color belt. I had no clue.
So, I watched as he went down the row and wrapped the "stripe" around each belt in a ceremonial fashion. Jack was the last one to recieve his "stripe". As soon as the Master finished, Jack immediately looked up and over at me in the hall. It was the most priceless, precious look ever. Even the dad next to me noticed and commented. I was proud. I felt affirmed. You know you are doing something right when the first face your child wants to see in his proudest moments is yours.

Sometimes I wonder what I'm internalizing about God. What is it that I believe He always says? In my proudest moments, do I seek His face first? What does God want me to know about Him? Does He want me to know the depths of His love for me? Isn't that what I want my children to discover about me?