I feel the need....

Have you ever wanted to do something so badly that the thoughts of it get your heart racing? I have SUCH the creating/crafting bug right now!! So, I decided that the "study" was going to become a craft room! First of all, no one ever went in there to "study". Secondly, I love the hubs dearly, but he has an office outside of this home. I have nowhere else to go to retreat...not even the bathroom. So, I bought paint, took most everything out of the room and started painting. Unfortunately, I ran out of 2 things: paint and motivation. The mess is killing me. Right now, the formal living room is housing everything that I had to move out of the study. I do NOT like clutter, so I have to put my hand in front of my face to pass by that room. I'm kinda in the mind-set of wanting the room done, but don't want to put forth the energy to do it. I can't work in there while Margaret is underfoot. It wouldn't take half an hour for her to have a permanent change to the color of her skin. Then when I have a (very) short break during the day, I'm short on energy. It's my time to let down, have my quiet time, and read. The next "break" comes after all 3 kids are in bed, but that's quality time with the man and by that point I'm too exhausted to lift a paint brush. I went away on a women's retreat last weekend and I hoped and prayed Chris would finish the room. I was saddened to return and find it in shambles like I'd left it. However, ALL of the laundry had been washed, dried, folded, hung-up, and put away....no complaints there. So, back to this need to create...I started on some artwork for Margaret's room, I'm ready to try some new techniques on my scrapbook pages, and I have a brain full of projects that I'm dying to make! My sanity depends on me finishing this room. I have the itch and it's not just from allergies... I DVR a crafting show and watch it while I work-out every morning and the desire to work with my hands at that point almost makes me salivate...or it could be the intensity with which I'm currently working out on the elliptical. Either way, I feel like I'm so close to actually living out my dream of having my very own craft room. To be able to check-off something on my dream list would be profound for me. This may seem silly to someone reading this, but for me I'm giddy with seriousness on the topic of having my own space full of organized bins, colors, paints, pens, baubles, buttons, fabrics, ribbons, wrapping paper....almost brings a tear to my eyes. Crazy? YES, I am totally crazy about creating. It's not only important for me, but also for my kids to pass on something that I truly have a passion for. I KNOW we could make some serious memories in that room. Now, if I could just find someone really cheap to finish my dream for me.......

A Little Air-Brushing Never Hurt

I've been enlightened to a photo editing site that's so incredibly addicting. I'm still a novice when it comes to Photoshop. Too many layers, backgrounds...blah, blah, blah. I need point, click, done...and a very large undo button. I've spent some time editing a few of the kids' photos and today I decided to take a stab at my own. I know you are amazed at how well I've been aging as of late. All of my wrinkles have magically disappeared....even some of the ones necessary to make the facial expression I'm making in the picture. In just a matter of seconds, I was able to lose 57% of my weight, add color to my bland lips, and an extra swipe of mascara to each extra sparkly eye. HA! It was fun. I'm not that vain, so I won't be posting this on Facebook- just on my blog where I can explain and laugh about it. I've gotta go brush my teeth and get ready for bed....too bad I don't have editing options on my bathroom mirror. ;)

Rough Morning....

I'm a very passionate person. I didn't realize that until I birthed a very passionate child and saw myself reflected in his actions. I remember being a tantrum thrower, fit screamer, anger monger kid. (I'm so sorry, Mom. I now have one...possibly 2 magnified.) Yesterday, my passionate child tested me from the moment he woke up until he went to sleep last night. I kept him late in the car before school to make sure he'd calmed down. He made me so furious that I yelled. I admitted it. I apologized. He got out of the van and I sat in the parking lot and watched him walk slowly to the building. He finally turned to see if I was still there and actually waved to me after all we'd been through that morning and I sobbed. I continued to cry all the way home and prayed that he'd have a decent day, learn how to direct his passions, and that I would learn how to direct mine. I hate mornings like that! Especially a MONDAY morning like that!! I soo badly wanted a do-over or just to crawl back in bed!! The only consolation I had is the fact that I grew out of the tantrums and fits. I still feel things deeply, but thank-you, GOD, for the fruit gift of self-control! PAH-LEEEEZE let it grow forth and blossom in my son.....SOON!!

MERCY!!!

I took an unintentional break from blogging, but ready or not I'm back! So much going on as of late reminds me of arm wrestling as a kid with friends! We'd wrestle even as girls until one of us couldn't take the pain anymore and yell "MERCY!!"

That's what I have felt like yelling out to God in light of certain tragedies....someone I highly respected, admired, and loved committed suicide. I have tried and tried to make sense of it, but I can't and all I can do is yell for his family "MERCY!!!" as I think of his wife and 2 children he left behind.

A senseless murder of a young pastor in Texas who's wife grew up in my home church. Again, can't make sense of it and all I can do is yell "MERCY!!!" for his young wife.

Friends who have loved ones with terminal illnesses -just heart breaking as they are young and have young families and again "MERCY!!"

An earthquake and tsunamis in Japan and watching the videos of the devastation~ "MERCY!!"

A little less grim is this time of the year in Michigan. Always a time of testing for me. The rest of the US is preparing for spring, flowers are blooming, flip flops are being worn, and while it's finally above freezing here, it's still in the 30's with occasional flurries and long days of gray, fog, and dirty snow on the ground. The lack of sun takes it's toll on a mom who spends her days in the isolated company of a strong willed 2 year old. It's hard. Granted, not as hard as the previously mentioned circumstances, but day to day living in this dreary season is HARD! There are many days when Margaret fights me on everything from getting dressed, to food, to taking naps where I feel like looking up and crying out "MERCY!!!!"

I'm so thankful God's mercies are NEW EVERY MORNING just like HE SAYS! They are new for the weariest of the wearied because GOD IS ENOUGH! He brings laughter just when I need it. He plants an ounce of cooperativeness in Margaret just when I need it. He inspires a husband to make his wife a pot of coffee on a Saturday morning before going to an early basketball game, just when I need it. HE gives me a good hair day just when I need it! He knows what I need even when I don't and He gives me just enough to live each day as it comes. How could I possibly look anywhere else to fill a void that only HE can fill! He is a merciful God and I cling to that as He has proven himself faithful to me time and time again! For every hard day I have, he replaces them with good ones! So, I can cry out "MERCY!!" and He'll answer back "My peace I give to you and leave with you!" I LOVE that about Him. Not only does God say it, He means it and He does it! He is so GOOD. Even in the midst of all the gray, fog, and bad news, He is still good.