MERCY!!!

I took an unintentional break from blogging, but ready or not I'm back! So much going on as of late reminds me of arm wrestling as a kid with friends! We'd wrestle even as girls until one of us couldn't take the pain anymore and yell "MERCY!!"

That's what I have felt like yelling out to God in light of certain tragedies....someone I highly respected, admired, and loved committed suicide. I have tried and tried to make sense of it, but I can't and all I can do is yell for his family "MERCY!!!" as I think of his wife and 2 children he left behind.

A senseless murder of a young pastor in Texas who's wife grew up in my home church. Again, can't make sense of it and all I can do is yell "MERCY!!!" for his young wife.

Friends who have loved ones with terminal illnesses -just heart breaking as they are young and have young families and again "MERCY!!"

An earthquake and tsunamis in Japan and watching the videos of the devastation~ "MERCY!!"

A little less grim is this time of the year in Michigan. Always a time of testing for me. The rest of the US is preparing for spring, flowers are blooming, flip flops are being worn, and while it's finally above freezing here, it's still in the 30's with occasional flurries and long days of gray, fog, and dirty snow on the ground. The lack of sun takes it's toll on a mom who spends her days in the isolated company of a strong willed 2 year old. It's hard. Granted, not as hard as the previously mentioned circumstances, but day to day living in this dreary season is HARD! There are many days when Margaret fights me on everything from getting dressed, to food, to taking naps where I feel like looking up and crying out "MERCY!!!!"

I'm so thankful God's mercies are NEW EVERY MORNING just like HE SAYS! They are new for the weariest of the wearied because GOD IS ENOUGH! He brings laughter just when I need it. He plants an ounce of cooperativeness in Margaret just when I need it. He inspires a husband to make his wife a pot of coffee on a Saturday morning before going to an early basketball game, just when I need it. HE gives me a good hair day just when I need it! He knows what I need even when I don't and He gives me just enough to live each day as it comes. How could I possibly look anywhere else to fill a void that only HE can fill! He is a merciful God and I cling to that as He has proven himself faithful to me time and time again! For every hard day I have, he replaces them with good ones! So, I can cry out "MERCY!!" and He'll answer back "My peace I give to you and leave with you!" I LOVE that about Him. Not only does God say it, He means it and He does it! He is so GOOD. Even in the midst of all the gray, fog, and bad news, He is still good.

A Light In the Darkness...

There is something so magical to me about these little lighted houses. I LOVE them. My kids LOVE them. I have caught each one of them peeking through the windows at one time. There is something so warm about the glow of the light emitted from these miniature villages especially at night. It makes me wonder about the little people that might inhabit them. Are they laughing in the warmth of their homes? Sitting in their comfiest clothing?
I LOVE to be at home. I am a homebody for sure. I used to love to be away and out and about. Don't get me wrong, I am not a hermit by any stretch. I STILL must go and do, but I prefer my home. I crave home most at night when by some chance I'm not there. If I pass by other homes, I crane my neck to see inside windows with no coverings...to see the glow and the lighting makes me long for the warmth of my own home. I've had seasons of a chill in my home that could make you freeze your buns on my sofa, but those seasons make me appreciate the warmth I have right now so much more. The glow comes from much more than the lighting.
If we have accepted salvation from Jesus, we carry an inner glow and warmth. He is the Light of the World and if he's in our hearts, we can't help but shine. I want to glow in such a way that makes others crave Him. He is our Light in the darkness and He is the keeper of our eternal home. Do others see this in me or do I send a chill through their spine with my icy remarks and attitude that makes the hair on the back of their necks stand up??
Not really where I was planning to go with this post, but God led me down a different route. When people look at you, do they see the glow? Do you personally have that glow in your heart right now to claim?

Who Am I?

Well, it happened again. I dreamed big. I planned bigger. I produced bigger than that. The event happened. Words were spoken. Some words left unsaid. The event ended. Everyone left. I was disappointed....let down. I cried. I was exhausted. I cleaned up and went to bed. Let the stewing begin. I've replayed the event over and over from the theme, to the last good-bye. I consider myself to be a very realistic person, but no matter how many variables I consider beforehand, somehow I always get my hopes up. I thought I would grow out of it, but so far I haven't. I guess I could still hold on to the notion that I might grow out of the "getting the hopes dashed" one day, but I'd probably get my hopes up waiting for it to happen. Yep, it's THAT bad. Does this make me a dreamer? I've often wondered if I was a dreamer or a realist. I'm not sure I have a firm yes or no either way.

I have many, MANY times held back on the planning and carrying out of certain events because of fear. Fear of making someone feel inferior -Fear of being misjudged of my intentions-fear of the disappointment that was sure to follow when I didn't get the reactions that I thought I should get. Then there just comes a time for risk. You risk those fears because it's who you are-how God created and designed you to be. I am a doer, a go-all-outer, a lover of details and giving my all to whatever task I've been given. Ironically, I love simplicity, but in an extravagant sort of way....and even if no one appreciates it in the way that I would like for them to, I will keep being all of those things. I will continue to dream big, plan bigger, and produce biggest because God wired me this way. I will have more let-downs and disappointments, but ain't NOBODY gonna steal my JOY which runs way deeper than all of the surface ripple stuff.

I had to post this for someone in particular. She needed this today. She needed to be affirmed through the writing and the wording....and I will admit that the "she" is me~