A House Vs A Home

Yesterday, we officially sold and closed on our house in Michigan. Bittersweet. I begged not to attend the closing. For one, it's boring. And two, I don't like to meet the people who are moving into our house of seven years.  To me, it's the equivalent of meeting your exhusband's new wife. I don't have an ex husband and my ex is not married, but this analogy works for me. 

 A house is not just a house. It is a home. It is so much more than wood and beams. Houses are those structures you pass by on a walk and wonder who lives there. A home is where you pull into the driveway and can't wait to put on your pjs and flop on the couch.  We have memories in every square inch of this home. 

This is yet another home where we introduced another child into this family. Our third and last was brought home from the hospital here. Back up to the pregnancy test on our bathroom counter and the joy and excitement we felt. Back up more than that to the wall in our master bedroom. We tore it down between our room and the other bedroom to make a glamorous master retreat with a big bathroom. As we were taking a sledge hammer to the wall, my great husband chuckles "you'll end up pregnant and we'll have to rebuild this wall!"  Well, I was and didn't know it! Joke was on him!

When we first moved here our boys were five and three and now they will be a month shy of 11 and 13 when we leave.  We had many boy birthday parties on the deck from cowboy and Lego themed to Star Wars and water guns. What about them sledding down the stairs on box tops or having light saber fights and sleepovers in the basement. What about the first night we spent in this house before our goods made it. The four of us slept in sleeping bags on the floor in the den. 

Then our little girl entered the mix and pink became our favorite color whether we liked it or not! We went from stepping on Lego bricks to Barbie shoes and tiaras. The heaps of stuffed animals and pink blankets on the couch. The fairy birthday party with glitter that we still find in the carpet.

I fell in love with trash up here. Sure, I had found a few pieces before moving up here, but it exploded in Michigan. I furnished our home with curbside and Craigslist finds that I sweat over in the garage. I threw kids in the car with their pop tarts and pjs and went on trash hunts during the summer. The oldest boy would jump out in his bare feet and help me load it into the van with a sleepy smile! The garage floor has paint remnants in every color of the rainbow from when I just couldn't wait and decided to forgo a drop cloth. On most occasions really....

Oh the memories. I hate saying goodbye. This went from being the hardest move of my life to the best move of my life. We all grew up here. All five of us. We met awesome people, selfless people, loving people, difficult people, rude people- but they all left a mark that changed and shaped us into who we are. No regrets.

I went to the closing. I met the people and mustered a smile. I softened a bit and even cracked a joke or two. We had a slight hold up with our house in Florida that came out in the closing.  The buyers were asking us what happened. We explained. After our long explanation, the buyer husband wanted to know how we were so relaxed and happy even with things not going as planned. We were both taken aback by the comment. It never occurred to us. Then I felt bad that I hadn't softened sooner though they didn't seem to notice. 

All of this. This that I mentioned. All of the memories. The moving up here. The moving into this particular house. The schools we went to. The church we belonged to. The neighbors. The buyers. The doing. Our reactions. It is all for The Lord. Every little thing. Every square inch of our lives belong to The Lord. We are more than just people to him. He doesn't look at us and see what we see. He sees everything. He sees the beginning, middle, and the end. He sees beyond our abilities. And oh how much He loves us.  All of us. We get frustrated. We get teary. We get scared. Emotional....God has a plan for every little detail. Every little thing is because of Him and is used by Him.  I long to remember that first before I get caught up in the moment.  

I have seen this quote many, many times, but it is so perfect for the time we are in right now. I want to remember this in all things. Especially knowing who's hand is in it and who's hand never leaves even when He asks us to pack up and move...across country. I look at this house and the memories and I think "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."-Dr. Seuss

Snow's Got Me Thinkin.....

I've taken a few months, years off blogging mainly because I lacked the time, energy, or frankly motivation...but here I am! It's January 2014 and we are facing record breaking wind chills and almost three feet of snow. Today, I noticed a friend posting the temp in Anchorage, Alaska saying it was 30 degrees there and colder in Michigan! I smiled and it got me thinkin'.

We spent the bulk of last year facing a huge possibility that we would be packing up, moving across the U.S. and vastly north to Anchorage, Alaska for the next four years. Chris moved up there last January and worked a detail leadership position until the end of May. He came home every four weeks for just the weekend, then returned back up to work. It was hard, but we did it. We weren't sure of the timeline and we were constantly halting decisions from extracurricular activities for the kids, to vacations because we were so uncertain of the details of if and when we were gonna move. This uncertain way of life lasted until the end of September and it was stressful.

It wasn't a forced job change, it was an opportunity and an open door, so we went with it. We had a few naysayers along the way who said we were crazy for even entertaining the idea of such a move, that we had no business moving there, that it would be a bad move for us and we couldn't handle it, the darkness, the extreme cold, or the distance.  While we didn't welcome or even appreciate the negative comments, we just simply took them straight to God. We desperately wanted to do the right thing and we didn't want to tell God "no"!  We had already learned by this huge move to Michigan from Louisiana, now almost 7 years ago, that God's ways are not our ways, He's in control, and He totally blesses obedience!

So, we pressed on and prayed...a lot.  I went back and forth in my prayers from clinging to my wants to surrendering to His will.  When the job was finally posted, Chris applied. We just knew the job was his and we prepared ourselves. It was not ideal. We knew with the timing we would be moving in December to relocate before Christmas.  The kids would be in new schools and I was not excited about pulling out my kindergartner and sixth grader in their transitional years. One thing we did do, was involve the kids. We wanted them to know. We wanted them to pray. We wanted them to learn how to do life by following where God leads even when you are unsure.  So, when Chris applied, we all...all five of us had a peace about it. 

The fact that Chris did NOT get the job was so totally God. A person out of the blue, who couldn't NOT get the job, applied.  In the end, she was our sacrificial lamb. We took a step of faith, up the mountain, with our poles and snow shoes ready for this new venture, and God sent this person bleating in the bushes in our place!! It was a fabulous God display! In the end, we knew it was not about the job at all. It was a lesson about faith and I am so glad our kids got to experience it with us! Yes, Chris was disappointed and the kids were disappointed for him, but we also knew as we had said all along, that if God had really wanted our family in Anchorage, we would be there. It would be an adjustment as it was here, but all things work for good and we believe that!  

It amazes me how people whom I look to as so "spiritual" can be such negative and unencouraging voices! All they saw were the bad things about the situation and they didn't hesitate to let us know about them!  What's even crazier, is the same negative people had never even been to Alaska, but they sure KNEW we couldn't handle it! (Frankly, it was insulting). Then, thankfully, there were MANY others who prayed with us, encouraged us, sent us encouraging messages and texts, and prayed for God's will for us! There were hardships and blessings through out the entire process, but we learned so much!! We are thankful for all of it, and thankful that it's over!! :)

So, when I saw the temp for Anchorage, Alaska today and saw that it was colder here in Michigan, I had to smile. You never know what God has in store for you. We have absolutes and variables in our heads about the way our lives should go whether we admit it or not, but they can change in an instant and make us realize that there are no absolutes this side of heaven. We not only must be open and ready to God's command to step out of the boat, but also willing no matter the cost and no matter what our feelings are at the time!

So, today, I sit snuggled with a puppy on my blanketed lap and three kids sprawled out watching a movie preparing for another day off from school, in Michigan, where God has us at this present time.  Until He stands outside of our motor boat and asks us to get out and come with Him somewhere else....

Me

Well, I've discovered something about myself.  Isn't it funny how you've lived with yourself longer than anyone else, but even after 36 years are still making new discoveries about your person??  Anyway...I have always known that I am, indeed, a morning person.  It is my absolute favorite time of the day.  However, by night fall I have shut down and entered my cave mode.  I just want to be wrapped in a blanket and as close to sleep as I can get. 

So, when I read about other moms and how much they love snuggling up with each of their children at night and talking for a long time at bedtime.....this may sound horrible, but....I shudder.  By that time I can't get them to bed fast enough.  I'm done.  I'm spent.  I'm tired.  I don't want to hang out in their rooms forever.  I adore and love my 3, but all day 24/7 with them is exhausting. 

Lately, Thatcher has decided he wants to read to me at night.  I love and appreciate that, but not at bedtime.  The last time I stood on the ladder of his bunkbed for 30 minutes and listened to him read I thought I was going to fall out.  I love hearing him read.  I want to hear him read, but not when he should be in sleep mode and I'm in cave mode. 

At first I felt guilty about it, but I'm really trying to pick apart this mom guilt stuff and make better sense out of it.  Is it a conviction?  If it is, then I need to take action.  Is it guilt that me or someone else is placing on me?  If it is, then I need to kick it to the curb.  I don't have to be like "other" moms.  I don't even have to be like the majority of moms.  That is not how God created me.  He created me to be me.  This discovery is freeing.  The weight of guilt has been lifted and I'm free to be me.

I also don't think it's a fair lesson for my kids if I always conform to who they want me to be.  If I'm always doing everything they think I should for them, then they'll never know about being themselves. I want them to know how special and unique each of them are.  Jack is a pleaser.  He wants to do, say, think, and like the things that we as his mom and dad agree with.  I'm trying to get him to understand that we don't have to like the same things.  He's not quite there yet, but I tell him constantly that I want him to be himself.  He doesn't need to act like his brother or any other kid.  He's awesome just like he is.

God loves us just as we are- warts and all.  I'm not saying to stay in any self-destructive patterns, habits, or behaviors.  I'm saying to accept your differences and remember to take captive your thoughts and feelings and weigh them alongside God's word.  I'll never be perfect at it and I'll still wrestle with mom guilt.  But, God loves me anyway.

My Dream Come True....

So, awhile back I made a whiney post about my dream of having a craft room.  I went back and reread it and was disgusted with how whiney it sounded.  That was all the motivation I needed to get the room done.  It's done.  My Craft Room.....here are the pics:

This is not the greatest pic, but here it is before.

A PEEK into the NEW ROOM!!  New Paint-New carpet.....

Closer in....My lamps are new and I scored them for $4.00 a piece with the shade on clearance!!!  The curtain is from Overstock.  The table in front of the window was another trash find from years ago!  I put my Cricut and the Jukebox on top!  Good storage on the bottom!

Both pieces found on the side of the road!  Bookcase was scored last week and it fits my scrapbook albums!!!  Love it!

My work table is my dining table.  We'll get a new one of those later! :)  Added cubes and lots of storage contaniers all scored from the dollar store!!  Love that place!

Bookcase we already had....just organized now!

This shelf was in the garage when we moved in.  I painted it black and had it in Jack's room.  Then we re-did Jack's room and I took it for my craft room!!

I had this frame already!  The glass had broken, so I backed it myself with chicken wire and I'm in the process of hanging pictures and quotes on it using clothespins!  Love how it turned out!

I bought the hooks for cheap!  Found these 3 pocket organizers for jewelry at the Dollar Tree.  I have them by my table with embellishments in them!  Love these!!

So, no more whining!!!  My next order of business is to make labels for all of the containers!!!  I love it all organized!  It took me a while to go through it all and put it back in the room!  Hope you liked the tour!! 

FYI....

The bird returned.  She built a new nest.  Same exact spot.  Jack checked for eggs, saw there were none and took it down.  He told me before he had my back- glad he came through. :)  No sightings since then.

A Bird In The Hand....

Well, I did it.....  I feel the need to put a small disclaimer before this post.  I am in no way against nature or animals.  I love them.  I appreciate them.  I see them as God's creation.  I also see that they have quite a vast area to build and establish their homes and nests, so they don't NEED to build a nest on my wreath.

With that said....EVERY YEAR that we've been here a robin has built her nest on my wreath outside my front door.  The first year, it was fascinating and a great learning experience for the boys.  We checked it everyday. We documented the whole process in pictures and watched the babies fly away.  However, when they moved out of their home they left behind a mess that I never expected.  POOP.  EVERYWHERE.  I ended up having to throw out my wreath.  I had to hose down and bleach my front porch.  It was a total gag moment for me.  Little bird turds everywhere....and a high spraying hose causes them to scatter on the sprayee. 

The following year she (the robin) showed up again.  I was not thrilled, but allowed her to stay.  When she left, the same poop fest clean up occurred.  So, this morning I was fit to be tied when I looked out the window and saw her spinning the last weave of dead grass on top of my brand new wreath!!!  I just couldn't do it again.  So, I went outside and she quickly flew away to mid yard to watch the horror.  I CAREFULLY checked the nest for eggs first. (I'm not a monster.  I care.)  There were no eggs.  The nest covered the entire top of my wreath.  I lifted it off of the wreath and onto the bush in front of my porch.  I figured I was at least preserving her hard work.  She was chirping so incredibly loud at me the entire time and giving me a deadly bird's eye glare.  I was expecting her to do a fly by and "accidently" peck my forehead.  The boys were watching through the glass door.  Jack said he had my back in case she flew up to the porch for a confrontation.  Wreath was in tact and poop-less, so I went back inside.

I checked a few minutes later and saw a different bird standing on the bush rooting around the nest.  Then, I saw some scuffling and turned my neck to see the robin had returned to my wreath.  The nerve.  I figured she had either weaved in some explosives or had "released" some of her own.  I'm paranoid now.  I pictured her weeping in bird therapy about a mean human who discarded her precious nest.  I also pictured her telling every large bird on our block her tale of woe and pointing our house out with her wing.  So, now I'm on the look out for the feathered mafia.  I told the hubs he might want to invest in a hat and perhaps only make mad dashes to and from the house.

I'll be eager to check in the morning and see if she returned only to rebuild....to be continued.

I feel the need....

Have you ever wanted to do something so badly that the thoughts of it get your heart racing? I have SUCH the creating/crafting bug right now!! So, I decided that the "study" was going to become a craft room! First of all, no one ever went in there to "study". Secondly, I love the hubs dearly, but he has an office outside of this home. I have nowhere else to go to retreat...not even the bathroom. So, I bought paint, took most everything out of the room and started painting. Unfortunately, I ran out of 2 things: paint and motivation. The mess is killing me. Right now, the formal living room is housing everything that I had to move out of the study. I do NOT like clutter, so I have to put my hand in front of my face to pass by that room. I'm kinda in the mind-set of wanting the room done, but don't want to put forth the energy to do it. I can't work in there while Margaret is underfoot. It wouldn't take half an hour for her to have a permanent change to the color of her skin. Then when I have a (very) short break during the day, I'm short on energy. It's my time to let down, have my quiet time, and read. The next "break" comes after all 3 kids are in bed, but that's quality time with the man and by that point I'm too exhausted to lift a paint brush. I went away on a women's retreat last weekend and I hoped and prayed Chris would finish the room. I was saddened to return and find it in shambles like I'd left it. However, ALL of the laundry had been washed, dried, folded, hung-up, and put away....no complaints there. So, back to this need to create...I started on some artwork for Margaret's room, I'm ready to try some new techniques on my scrapbook pages, and I have a brain full of projects that I'm dying to make! My sanity depends on me finishing this room. I have the itch and it's not just from allergies... I DVR a crafting show and watch it while I work-out every morning and the desire to work with my hands at that point almost makes me salivate...or it could be the intensity with which I'm currently working out on the elliptical. Either way, I feel like I'm so close to actually living out my dream of having my very own craft room. To be able to check-off something on my dream list would be profound for me. This may seem silly to someone reading this, but for me I'm giddy with seriousness on the topic of having my own space full of organized bins, colors, paints, pens, baubles, buttons, fabrics, ribbons, wrapping paper....almost brings a tear to my eyes. Crazy? YES, I am totally crazy about creating. It's not only important for me, but also for my kids to pass on something that I truly have a passion for. I KNOW we could make some serious memories in that room. Now, if I could just find someone really cheap to finish my dream for me.......

A Little Air-Brushing Never Hurt

I've been enlightened to a photo editing site that's so incredibly addicting. I'm still a novice when it comes to Photoshop. Too many layers, backgrounds...blah, blah, blah. I need point, click, done...and a very large undo button. I've spent some time editing a few of the kids' photos and today I decided to take a stab at my own. I know you are amazed at how well I've been aging as of late. All of my wrinkles have magically disappeared....even some of the ones necessary to make the facial expression I'm making in the picture. In just a matter of seconds, I was able to lose 57% of my weight, add color to my bland lips, and an extra swipe of mascara to each extra sparkly eye. HA! It was fun. I'm not that vain, so I won't be posting this on Facebook- just on my blog where I can explain and laugh about it. I've gotta go brush my teeth and get ready for bed....too bad I don't have editing options on my bathroom mirror. ;)

Rough Morning....

I'm a very passionate person. I didn't realize that until I birthed a very passionate child and saw myself reflected in his actions. I remember being a tantrum thrower, fit screamer, anger monger kid. (I'm so sorry, Mom. I now have one...possibly 2 magnified.) Yesterday, my passionate child tested me from the moment he woke up until he went to sleep last night. I kept him late in the car before school to make sure he'd calmed down. He made me so furious that I yelled. I admitted it. I apologized. He got out of the van and I sat in the parking lot and watched him walk slowly to the building. He finally turned to see if I was still there and actually waved to me after all we'd been through that morning and I sobbed. I continued to cry all the way home and prayed that he'd have a decent day, learn how to direct his passions, and that I would learn how to direct mine. I hate mornings like that! Especially a MONDAY morning like that!! I soo badly wanted a do-over or just to crawl back in bed!! The only consolation I had is the fact that I grew out of the tantrums and fits. I still feel things deeply, but thank-you, GOD, for the fruit gift of self-control! PAH-LEEEEZE let it grow forth and blossom in my son.....SOON!!

MERCY!!!

I took an unintentional break from blogging, but ready or not I'm back! So much going on as of late reminds me of arm wrestling as a kid with friends! We'd wrestle even as girls until one of us couldn't take the pain anymore and yell "MERCY!!"

That's what I have felt like yelling out to God in light of certain tragedies....someone I highly respected, admired, and loved committed suicide. I have tried and tried to make sense of it, but I can't and all I can do is yell for his family "MERCY!!!" as I think of his wife and 2 children he left behind.

A senseless murder of a young pastor in Texas who's wife grew up in my home church. Again, can't make sense of it and all I can do is yell "MERCY!!!" for his young wife.

Friends who have loved ones with terminal illnesses -just heart breaking as they are young and have young families and again "MERCY!!"

An earthquake and tsunamis in Japan and watching the videos of the devastation~ "MERCY!!"

A little less grim is this time of the year in Michigan. Always a time of testing for me. The rest of the US is preparing for spring, flowers are blooming, flip flops are being worn, and while it's finally above freezing here, it's still in the 30's with occasional flurries and long days of gray, fog, and dirty snow on the ground. The lack of sun takes it's toll on a mom who spends her days in the isolated company of a strong willed 2 year old. It's hard. Granted, not as hard as the previously mentioned circumstances, but day to day living in this dreary season is HARD! There are many days when Margaret fights me on everything from getting dressed, to food, to taking naps where I feel like looking up and crying out "MERCY!!!!"

I'm so thankful God's mercies are NEW EVERY MORNING just like HE SAYS! They are new for the weariest of the wearied because GOD IS ENOUGH! He brings laughter just when I need it. He plants an ounce of cooperativeness in Margaret just when I need it. He inspires a husband to make his wife a pot of coffee on a Saturday morning before going to an early basketball game, just when I need it. HE gives me a good hair day just when I need it! He knows what I need even when I don't and He gives me just enough to live each day as it comes. How could I possibly look anywhere else to fill a void that only HE can fill! He is a merciful God and I cling to that as He has proven himself faithful to me time and time again! For every hard day I have, he replaces them with good ones! So, I can cry out "MERCY!!" and He'll answer back "My peace I give to you and leave with you!" I LOVE that about Him. Not only does God say it, He means it and He does it! He is so GOOD. Even in the midst of all the gray, fog, and bad news, He is still good.

A Light In the Darkness...

There is something so magical to me about these little lighted houses. I LOVE them. My kids LOVE them. I have caught each one of them peeking through the windows at one time. There is something so warm about the glow of the light emitted from these miniature villages especially at night. It makes me wonder about the little people that might inhabit them. Are they laughing in the warmth of their homes? Sitting in their comfiest clothing?
I LOVE to be at home. I am a homebody for sure. I used to love to be away and out and about. Don't get me wrong, I am not a hermit by any stretch. I STILL must go and do, but I prefer my home. I crave home most at night when by some chance I'm not there. If I pass by other homes, I crane my neck to see inside windows with no coverings...to see the glow and the lighting makes me long for the warmth of my own home. I've had seasons of a chill in my home that could make you freeze your buns on my sofa, but those seasons make me appreciate the warmth I have right now so much more. The glow comes from much more than the lighting.
If we have accepted salvation from Jesus, we carry an inner glow and warmth. He is the Light of the World and if he's in our hearts, we can't help but shine. I want to glow in such a way that makes others crave Him. He is our Light in the darkness and He is the keeper of our eternal home. Do others see this in me or do I send a chill through their spine with my icy remarks and attitude that makes the hair on the back of their necks stand up??
Not really where I was planning to go with this post, but God led me down a different route. When people look at you, do they see the glow? Do you personally have that glow in your heart right now to claim?

Who Am I?

Well, it happened again. I dreamed big. I planned bigger. I produced bigger than that. The event happened. Words were spoken. Some words left unsaid. The event ended. Everyone left. I was disappointed....let down. I cried. I was exhausted. I cleaned up and went to bed. Let the stewing begin. I've replayed the event over and over from the theme, to the last good-bye. I consider myself to be a very realistic person, but no matter how many variables I consider beforehand, somehow I always get my hopes up. I thought I would grow out of it, but so far I haven't. I guess I could still hold on to the notion that I might grow out of the "getting the hopes dashed" one day, but I'd probably get my hopes up waiting for it to happen. Yep, it's THAT bad. Does this make me a dreamer? I've often wondered if I was a dreamer or a realist. I'm not sure I have a firm yes or no either way.

I have many, MANY times held back on the planning and carrying out of certain events because of fear. Fear of making someone feel inferior -Fear of being misjudged of my intentions-fear of the disappointment that was sure to follow when I didn't get the reactions that I thought I should get. Then there just comes a time for risk. You risk those fears because it's who you are-how God created and designed you to be. I am a doer, a go-all-outer, a lover of details and giving my all to whatever task I've been given. Ironically, I love simplicity, but in an extravagant sort of way....and even if no one appreciates it in the way that I would like for them to, I will keep being all of those things. I will continue to dream big, plan bigger, and produce biggest because God wired me this way. I will have more let-downs and disappointments, but ain't NOBODY gonna steal my JOY which runs way deeper than all of the surface ripple stuff.

I had to post this for someone in particular. She needed this today. She needed to be affirmed through the writing and the wording....and I will admit that the "she" is me~

First Week Frenzy.....

So, last week was the first week of school up here. State law in Michigan mandates that schools can't start until after labor day. I'm sure it's a lot wordier than that, but there it is in a blunt nutshell.

Thatcher had an assignment that was due on Friday. The typical "ME" bag. He had to bring in a bag with things about himself.

Of course, Thursday night we're trying to get this done. He said his stomach was hurting at dinner, so he laid on the couch while the rest of us ate. After we finished, he perked up and wanted nuggets. (I'm thinking I got played, but it was minimal.) I made his nuggets, or rather warmed them up, and told him we needed to work on this project after he ate to get it done. Thatcher usually swallows his food whole. You know "PASS the teeth and over the gums. Look out stomach here it comes."

I finally found the key into getting him to chew his dinner....tell him he has homework to do. I've never seen him take 30 bites to eat one nugget. So, I start looking at this list. Only 4 things to go in the bag..not too bad. However, one was a family photo. I have TONS of the 3 of them, but none recent of the 5 of us.

Let me run the gammit for a sec:I HATE....I REPEAT...I HATE being photographed. I try to stay out of pictures as much as possible. I just don't photograph well....plus the "average" camera adds 10 pounds, but I always happen upon the atypical camera that adds a good 40.

Needless to say, we were in a bind. It was close to Margaret's bathtime. Jack had gotten a wild hair and jumped in the shower early to get it over with. Thatcher was eating at snail's pace, and Chris was adding apps to his phone.

The next few events were a blur, but the next thing I knew we had the tripod out, camera balanced on top with a book (since we're missing the little piece that connects the camera to the tripod), I'm yelling at everyone to huddle in and SMILE, Jack is complaining that he's already in pajamas for the family picture, Chris sets the timer, jumps in beside me and "CHEEEEEEESSE!"

Whew! What a worldwind. Done!....or not.....Chris was awesome enough to take Margaret upstairs, give her a bath, and put her to bed while I printed the picture...but then...I really wished I would have stuck out my neck... I was seeing a crevice. Not liking my tired eyes, shiny skin....not much I could do about Chris' forced smile. So, I opened up Photoshop Elements and began with the "healing brush". I should probably read more about that part of the editing program because I failed miserably. For your viewing enjoyment, I'm sharing my work......

ATTEMPT #1:

Notice my 5 o'clock shadow. I'm thinking bearded lady at the circus.

ATTEMPT #2:

Apparently, I've been eating chicken with hormones and have grown a partial 3rd eye and another nose.

ATTEMPT #3:

Please, Lord...not a butt chin.

I finally gave up. I printed the original, stuck it in the bag and moved on. It's gonna be a long year.

Trash to Treasure

This summer has been the "summer of projects" around here. It has really helped to salvage the bit of sanity that yet remains.... I caught the bug of furniture re-do and became a monster. So, I thought I'd share my work as of late.....love it or leave it. ;)

This was one of my roadside rescues. When I brought this home, Chris started laughing hysterically. He began to explain that he had proceeded to pass by this chest 2 days in a row going to work and then here I was bringing it home. Of course, I looked at him like he was crazy for not picking it up 2 days EARLIER!

This adorable cabinet-around 4 and a half feet tall- was a WHOPPING $3.00 at a garage sale. Yes, $3.00, NOT $30............

After I sanded-primed-painted-and added new hardware-the 2 together became......

THIS! I had the primer and sand paper on hand. So, the paint+ cost of the cabinet makes this a $20 piece of furniture! 3 cheers for cheap "Hip Hip......" you get the point, but it sure makes me giddy!

Okay, this next piece only has 2 "after" pics and no "before"s
soooo just close your eyes and attempt to picture what you've read of it's description. Got it?!

The bottom drawers was a roadside rescue! I'd had it for 2 years "as is" in the basement with a TV on it. I was waiting to decide what to do with it. It was white with a bit of gold trim....ugly, but had potential!

Then I stumbled upon the top hutch on craig's list! $40 for this antique hutch! I fell in love and there was no turning back. I knew in my heart I wanted a giant piece of furniture painted apple green, so I made it happen.!

Lots of sanding on the bottom part-Chris stepped in with his power sander....then he quickly stepped out...;) I primed-painted-added new hardware on the drawers and birthed the following.....

It's my MOST favorite piece of furniture to date! The top ($40)+ paint ($30) makes this a $70 giant apple green piece of furniture! Although, to me it's PRICELESS!!!!

I have no before pics of this either.....the top cabinet was white and I'd had it for several years. This came out of my mom's house in Homer, La. The bottom was also a hand me down from Chris' grandmother many years ago! Lots of elbow grease required on this buffet. I painted it robin's egg blue and added large, handpainted, red knobs from Hobby Lobby. Love the way it all looks now and really brightens up this room! Can't recall the cost of the knobs, but the paint was around $20.

Chris built this awesome loft bed for Jack! It was truly a labor of love. Took us a WEEK to paint this thing-then Chris had to seal it twice and voil' la----a loft bed was born! I also painted his room this lime green too. Not the best of pictures, but here it is nonethelesssss.

Okay-this is just a few--there are others...like several....I TOLD you I became a monster, but it has been SOOOO much fun! There were many mornings that we'd jump in the car and the boys would get out to help me grab some "trash" and bring it home!!! Nothing like the thrill of the hunt, making it a diamond in the rough, and saving TONS of money in the process!! I might post more pics later...but I'm all done...for now....

The Ice-cream Man...

or in this case...the ice cream lady. So, today it finally rained after weeks without it! For some crazy reason the ice cream truck was overheard making it's way through our hood. The boys immediately wanted money and were willing to stand in the rain for overpriced and not that great icecream. They didn't whisper their desire, they yelled it, and when they did Margaret heard it. She was jumping up and down "ice cweam! ice cweam!"

We ALL ended up outside under the tree waiting for the truck of frozen dreams to drive down our street. After a good 30 minutes....the song grew louder and louder until we could see the hot pink truck turn in our direction. I don't think I've seen Margaret get as giggly and excited as she did in those forever minutes it took to get down our street.

This particular icecream vendor is a woman. One side of her face is a little drooped. She'll start smiling if you get her talking, but she's a little reserved. She has a cup on the window for tips with a sign reading "Quarters please." I don't always think to have extra for her, but today I did. Margaret got hers and then the boys. The neighbor girl was with us too and since she's all of 4, she was too nervous to order. I helped her out. Turned out she needed 50 more cents. I had put the rest of my quarters in the tip jar, so I was about to run back in the house for more $. The lady stopped me and said "didn't you just put some quarters in the tip jar?" I said "yes." She said "then it's covered. That's what I use the tips for anyway. For kids who don't have money or enough money."

Here's this lady, with a slight deformity, doesn't have much, drives around in a hot pink truck with the most annoying loud tune playing over and over and over.......She could easily take those tips for herself and rightly so, but she uses them to help others. I was humbled. I haven't been able to stop thinking about this lady. I have a cup full of quarters just waiting for her return. She scooped out way more than icecream for my kids today.

Finally Inspired.....

It took long enough, but I'm happy to report that I've been inspired.
I wrote a Facebook Status today that spoke to me. I'm not being vain....maybe I should have said "God spoke to me through it" because He did. My status was "I have decided to accept the fact that I will never understand some people." I have to say that I include myself in that status. I don't fully grasp or understand who I am either, but I don't think I'm supposed to.

I LOVE art. I collect art books and I have always loved Renoir, Mary Cassat, Monet, Degas, Van Gogh and then even Norman Rockwell. He wasn't an Impressionist, but his paintings are so incredibly lifelike and I love them. I have such an appreciation for both types of work! Then there are other types of art out there that I don't love....never loved Andy Warhol and his soup cans, or Picasso and the nude women who had their parts painted in the wrong places. I have an appreciation because they were someone's artwork, but I don't understand them. I also wouldn't take my eraser to the Lourve and try to change someone else's work.

So, when I wrote that status this morning it all totally made sense to me when I said I don't understand some people....I don't understand because I'm not the creator. The only one who truly understands a piece of art is the creator. When my children draw a picture and show it to me, sometimes I'm confused as to what it is, but they explain it to me. The drawing doesn't come to life and explain why it was drawn. Spectators (siblings) in the room may have their theories, but the only one who knows the art is the child who drew it.

God is our Creator. Some deny Him and try to theorize their life and purpose, but the truth is only God knows our life and purpose. We are His art. His craftsmanship. Just like I wouldn't dream of taking an eraser to someone else's artwork to change it (no matter how tempting), I can't change people either. It's not my job or my right because I'm not their Creator. I birthed my 3 lovely kids, but God still created them. Can't change them either.

So, all in all, it's a relief. I don't have to understand myself or other people. I'll leave that to the Creator. Loving them is hard enough, but I will always have an appreciation for art...especially an art that only God can create.

Thatcher is as unique as his name. He is his own little person. He tells it like it is....
Sunday after church he was explaining an event that took place in his class that morning. He told us the teacher poured water in a glass, filled it with kitty litter, then stirred it with a pen. I asked him what the teacher was talking about and he said "DEATH!" Then I asked what the kitty litter had to do with death and he quickly replied "I don't know I wasn't listening."

He had a field trip Monday with his Kindergarten class. His best friend up until Monday has been Peter. Two peas in a pod! Monday I picked him up from school and was asking him about the trip. He told me a little about it and then said that Bradley was his new best friend. He said they had fun on the field trip and were together the whole time. I said "What happened to Peter." He said "He wasn't talking to me or being with me very much." I said "What was he doing?" He said "Well, he was listening." I said "So....you WEREN'T listening?" He simply replied "I was listening, but I was also talking very quietly the whole time."

One of the many things I'm learning about being a mom is MY need for my children. Why did God give me these particular children? There are aspects and qualities in each of them that cause me to want to be a better person and a better mom. Thatcher keeps me laughing and I know I need him so I won't take life so seriously. I've never been a totally serious person anyway, but sometimes it gets harder finding the humor in the tiring responsibilites of life. I need my kids as much as they need me, and I like that.

Like Sands Through The Hour Glass.......

so are the Days of Our Lives. Yes, I admit I was once a fan of that show and watched it faithfully. I was always amazed at how fast the children on that show grew up. They were born in the winter and by fall they were running off with someone else's boyfriend. Even though the show was a little outlandish at times, one theme remained true throughout each season and that is.....time flies!

I'm still in my reflective state these days. I was looking through some old photos the other day of me in high school down to when I was a baby. Then I found pictures from the kids that I taught in my teaching days. I was flooded with memories. Not just memories of what was happening in the photos, but of my state of mind at the time. I can remember how my mind was geared and I remember for so long being in the "if only" shift. "If only" I was older, out of school, married, had kids, had more money, skinny, blah, blah, blah....how many years were wasted in that state??

I can honestly say that at this present time in my life I am yearning for nothing. I am truly content. I don't wish for anything more because what I have at this moment is everything. I also know that nothing ever stays the same, there are more roads to be travelled, and more lessons to be learned. So, I cherish what I have right now!

I was sad looking back thinking about how dumb I was. Truly selfish. Even looking at photos of our wedding. I had NO CLUE what I was doing. No Clue what to expect of my husband or myself. I thought "happily ever afters" were reality and I constantly failed trying to live up to that, and so did everyone around me.

I was also thankful that I'm NOT where I was. It's so nice to be on the other side. I still have so far to go, but I've come a long way. I will say it again....HOW in the world do people function without the Lord?? I would not be where I am without Him. I owe EVERYTHING to God. I couldn't be content without HIm. I may not always be happy, but I have an inner peace and joy that ONLY comes from Jesus! TImes change, life changes, people change, but THANKFULLY JESUS NEVER CHANGES! He is the SAME yesterday, today, and tomorrow. It makes me giddy just typing that.

I don't care to know exactly how much sand is left in my hourglass....or apple shaped container. I just want to be the woman, wife, mom, daughter, sister, and friend that God intended for me to be right now.

Reflections...

Ten years in the big scheme of things is really not that long of a time span, but looking back to the beginning of this decade gone by totally amazes me. I started out "believing" the following:
that we would never be able to have children, I would never be able to lose weight, always be teaching school, live in Shreveport my entire life, that Chris would always be a Shreveport Police Officer and he would NEVER let me down! I'm sure I thought more than that, but those are the "for sures" that I remember!
So, in those ten years we have had 3 children, I WAS able to lose weight (though I've gained back quite a few), I'm not teaching school anymore, or living in Shreveport. Chris is no longer an SPD Officer, and yes, he DID let me down.
Reflecting can be good. Notice who I put the limits on....GOD! I expected perfection from a human and put my God in a box. I learned so much in this decade. I laughed, I cried, I wailed, I pounded the floors, I wasn't perfect either, I prayed, I was humbled, and I am blessed. So, I begin a new decade with nothing but wonder and anticipation at what my God can and will do with me, and I'll never say "never" again.

TIME FLIES!

and I'm EXHAUSTED! I crave naps these days! I stay up too late, then stay on my toes all day with the 18 month old and the boys after school! I've barely had time to digest my turkey and BAM! Merry Christmas! I LOVE Christmas, the sparkle, the decorations, the food....but this year, I'm feeling lazy and tired, and NOT ready. It really did sneak up on me. It also seems as if retail is pushing the holidays earlier and earlier. Pushing when I'm not ready!! How dare they! This is definitely a love/hate stage with Margaret. One the one hand it is so fun. She's beginning to talk, walking everywhere, her personality is just blossoming, she's still sweet and snuggly....on the other hand she's a picky eater, wanting to feed herself, so she ends up wearing a yogurt sweater despite the bib, she's not always satisfied just sitting in the shopping cart at the store, and she wants my attention...constantly. I don't get much done while she's awake, and I try hard not to think about all I need and have to do while I spend time with her. I also know that time flies, and someday she'll be more into friends and boys than her Mama.
Also looming in the back of my mind are the disciplines I had at one time, that I've let go. I miss getting up really early and going for a run and still having time for my quiet time then a shower. I can't seem to get my tail in gear and at least wake up to do the ellyptical machine in the basement. I feel fat and unmotivated. Why is that? What is this all about? It's not even winter and the sun was out today. I have no excuse except that I'm tired and time flies. It seems like just yesterday I was so motivated to be fit and thought the feeling would last. It didn't. Baby number three came along and while 3 kids is special and glorious, it's also exhausting. I have no moral or A-ha moment to add to this blurb, nor am I seeking advice. Just blabbing about my blahs because I can and it's why I blog. I will end with this, I have been through enough seasons of life to know that they don't last forever. I'm so thankful that I know the Lord. Otherwise, I would never have this constant peace regardless of my circumstances or feelings for the moment. I would be a complete basket case. It is only because of God that I am whole!