When my mom came into town a couple of weeks ago, Chris and I had a long awaited date the night before he left for CA. It was so great to be able to be away from the house and talk without being interrupted by the little people! We talked about how busy our life is now with 3 and about how hard life really and truly is! I tend to think as I go and I had this revelation about why being a grown up is so hard.....It's because growing up is not about getting older, it's about going from selfish to selfless.
Isn't it just so true? Isn't that what makes life so tiring? It's because we have dependents...not independence!! Whether you have children or not, if you are truly growing up, you are living your life for others....exactly the way God intended!
It's SOooooo opposite from our human nature. Every day I feel myself fighting against every evil force to call it quits....isn't that what satan wants... I've scoured the Bible looking for the passage that says "Love your neighbor as yourself, however, once a month take the weekend off." Shouldn't that be in Acts?
Have you ever looked back to the people you went to High School with and some of them just seem to be "stuck" at 15? They may be 34 in people years, but in selfish years they hit their peak at 15! Still living solely for themselves....what a waste....
When I got married, I thought it was about me. I thought part of it was for Chris, and part of it was for me. None of it was for me. None of it was for Chris. This marriage is for God. How did I miss that? My children....not for me.....moving to Michigan....not for me....WOW! Just changes the whole perspective.....kinda freeing in a sense....This is God's puppet show. I've got the freedom to cut the strings, but WHY? What good is a limp puppet with no purpose!? ;0)
Besides their salvation, my prayer for Jack, Thatcher, & Margaret is that they don't ever get "stuck." That they become a little less selfish every day of their lives. That they keep their "God strings" in tact and carry out his good and perfect will for their lives!! That they discover through their blood, sweat, and tears the true meaning of life is to give theirs away...it's unbelievably hard, but unbelievably amazing!
1 comment:
I remember as a young single mom how overwhelmed I would get just trying to be everything for three little people who all had different needs and different wants.
Sometimes I would just shut down and be nothing for everyone.
God never meant for me to raise children alone, but freedom of choice and not knowing WHO I could depend on made my life and the life of my children very very difficult.
You two are ahead of the game...you see things I'm just learning.
If I could go back in time and do things over again, I would. I would try harder to be the woman of God that He intended me to be; I would try harder to listen to my children instead of just hearing them; and I would try to remember that it is all about HIM not me.
I have so many regrets as a mother...
but, God said putting away those things in the past we strive to run forward...
I can't change the past, but I can make the future better running with the mantle God has given me.
Amy, what you have written can preach...and should preach! Thank you for sharing your heart!
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